I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
