Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize