i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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