Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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