dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
should my penis look like a turkey
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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