OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
