I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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