so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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