i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
