im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
