I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
