ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
