I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
