What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize