Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
