she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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