Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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