He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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