Dual....:-)
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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