I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize