you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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