The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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