You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
