You really coming over, don't trick.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Can Purell be used as lube?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
