Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
