is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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