i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
tell me about the fingering
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