He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
