So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
