I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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