Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
