the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
