Kiss
Puke
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
