Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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