Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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