Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
nutella sex= disaster
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
