Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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