You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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