my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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