someone get that fucking seahorse.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
