just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
