Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
