I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just pee around me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
