i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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