I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need water and some morals
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
