Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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