she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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