So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
