a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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