Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
