how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
