We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
