i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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