is your mom at the bar?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
